Fart Jokes | Big Mistakes

Big Mistakes

Nudist Colony

John's in Amsterdam and visits a nudist colony there.

While wandering around naked, he spots a gorgeous blond woman and immediately gets an erection. The woman notices his erection, comes over and asks, "Sir, did you call for me?"

John replies, "No."

She says, "Well, it's a rule here that if I give you an erection, it means you called for me." She then lays him down and starts making love to him.

Later that day, John visits the sauna. As he sits down, he farts. A huge big hairy guy gets up, drops his towel to show a huge erection and says, "Sir, did you call for me?"

John replies with a strong "No!"

The man says, "It's a rule that when you fart, it implies you called for me." The man then knocks John to the floor and has his way with him.

As soon as he's finished, John rushes back to his room, grabs all his things and heads for the exit. On his way out, he's stopped by the manager who asks, "Can I help you?"

John says, "Here's my room key. I'm leaving early."

The manager asks why and John replies, "I'm 60 years old. I get an erection once a week, but I fart 20 times a day!"

John returns home and decides he's better off reading fart jokes on his home computer.

Jet Fuel

Bud and Jim were a couple of drinking buddies who worked as airplane mechanics in Atlanta. One day the airport was fogged in and they were stuck in the hangar with nothing to do.

Bud says, "Man, I wish we had something to drink!" Jim says, "Me too. Y'know, I've heard you can drink jet fuel and get a buzz. You wanna try it?" So they pour themselves a couple of glasses of high octane hooch and get completely smashed. The next morning Bud wakes up and is surprised at how good he feels.

In fact he feels great! No hangover! No bad side effects. Nothing! Then the phone rings. It's Jim. Jim asks, "Hey, how do you feel this morning?" Bud answers, "I feel great. How about you?"

Jim says, "I feel great, too. You don't have a hangover?" Bud replies, "Nope! That jet fuel is great stuff. No hangover, nothing. We ought to do this more often."

"Yeah, well there's just one thing…"

"What's that?"

"Have you… umm… farted yet?"

"No."

"Well, don't, 'cause I'm in Phoenix!"


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