Smelly One-Liners
There are two flies sitting on a pile of poop. When one fly farts, the other fly looks at him and says, "Hey do ya mind? I'm eating here!"
Laugh and the world laughs with you; fart and they'll stop laughing.
Confucius say "Crowded elevator always smell different to midget."
Confucius say "Man who fart in Church sit in own pew."
Confucius say "Man who belch after eating fart from mouth."
Definition of a fart: A turd honking for the right of way!
Definition of bravery: A man with diarrhea chancing a fart!
Definition of surprise: A fart with a lump in it!
A man had such a smelly fart once that he had to spend 15 years in jail… for air pollution.
Why don't little girls fart? Because they don't have assholes until they're married.
Why do farts stink? So that deaf people can enjoy them too!
How can you tell if a woman is wearing pantyhose? If she farts, her ankles swell.
Did you hear about the constipated Wheel of Fortune player? He wanted to buy a bowel.
What would you call a person who sends fart jokes by email all the time? A person who passes gas frequently.
What's the sharpest thing in the world? A fart because it goes right through your trousers and doesn't even leave a hole.
What do you get if you eat beans and onions? Tear Gas.
Better out than in, I always say.
"Darling," says a husband coyly to his wife, "let's swap positions tonight." "What a good idea," she replies. "You stand in front of the sink and do the dishes and I'll sit in front of the TV and fart."
What's invisible and smells like carrots? Easter Bunny farts.
Why do Irishmen only put 239 beans in their chili? Because one more would make it too faaarty!
Related Posts:
- A Passion for Baked Beans
- Time For Farting
- Small Mistakes
- Farting Relationships
- Why Do People Read Fart Jokes?
Filed Under Lists and One-Liners |
Tagged With Confucius, definitions, farting, farts, lumps
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