Farting Relationships
Sports Fans
A man and his wife have gone to bed.
After laying in bed for a few minutes, the man rips a loud fart under the blanket. The wife rolls over and growls, "Holy mackerel! What in God's name was that?"
He answers, "Touchdown! I'm ahead, seven to nothing!"
A few minutes later, the wife produces a scorching [...]
Smelly One-Liners
There are two flies sitting on a pile of poop. When one fly farts, the other fly looks at him and says, "Hey do ya mind? I'm eating here!"
Laugh and the world laughs with you; fart and they'll stop laughing.
Confucius say "Crowded elevator always smell different to midget."
Confucius say "Man who fart in Church sit [...]
Blame The Dog
A young man visits his girlfriend's home to have dinner with her family for the first time. He's extremely nervous. After they're all seated at the table, their dog goes under the table and curls up under the young man's chair.
While they're eating and talking, he suddenly feels the pressure of gas against his sphincter. [...]
Time For Farting
When You Should Never Fart
Inside a crowded elevator.
In the supervisor's office, when you're in a meeting.
In your own office.
In a crowded supermarket or grocery store.
Inside a public library.
On a crowded train or bus.
On an airplane.
While giving a speech.
While listening to a speech.
While attending Church.
During confession.
While on a date.
At a cinema or movie theater.
While standing in [...]
Big Mistakes
Nudist Colony
John's in Amsterdam and visits a nudist colony there.
While wandering around naked, he spots a gorgeous blond woman and immediately gets an erection. The woman notices his erection, comes over and asks, "Sir, did you call for me?"
John replies, "No."
She says, "Well, it's a rule here that if I give you an erection, it [...]