Types of Girls You Might See In The Restroom
Cross-Eyed: Sits on one cheek on the side of the seat and pees all over the floor. Usually wears rubber boots on her visits to the can, and carries a box of Kleenex in her purse.
Big Time: Always leaves toilet door open while she chats and brags to the other girls about the guy she "had" last night. Shows girls her panties with black lace edging and "Welcome" embroidered in the crotch. Has never been to bed with a man.
Selfish: Enters alone and locks the door, saying to the girls following that she will be out in a minute. Leisurely pees. Remarks, adjusts clothes and poses before mirror keeping others squirming outside for an hour.
Worried: A week past due. Squats thoughtfully, counting days overdue on fingers. Uses toilet paper, examines it hopefully. Peers into toilet before flushing, sighing deeply. Walks out biting nails after forgetting to wash hands. Resolves never to go to bed drunk again.
Sloppy: Skirt drags in toilet while squatting, pees all over front of toilet seat, never uses toilet paper, drags her business all over seat, forgets to flush and emerges with back of skirt caught in pants.
Timid: Looks under stall door to see if anyone else is in the can, turns on faucet full force, backs up to toilet, squats quickly, flushes for constant flow of water, coughs, hums, listens intently to learn if sound other than faucet can be heard. Ends up with loud fart, walks out blushing.
Frivolous: Lets stream go in little squirts to the tune of "Row, Row, Row Your Boat."
Literary: Always takes book of the month to the can with her. Blames "Forever Amber" for her piles.
Geek: Takes her laptop computer to the can with her. While reading fart jokes, can be heard giggling and snorting like a donkey.
Cautious: Has heard of so many girls contracting VD from toilet seats that she straddles bowl, leans over to flush, pees on her nylons.
Conceited: Approaches toilet with undulating movements. Raises dress by finger tips. Expression while peeing indicates such a lovely creature should not be compelled to attend to such lowly duties. Farts silently and disdainfully.
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Filed Under Bathrooms and Restrooms |
Tagged With farting, farts, loud, silent
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